Phew... It took me about an hour to republish all those blog entries that I took down. Curse blogger for not having an option to select all posts and publish in one click. When you have 130-something posts, it takes a long time to click on each one individually to publish.
Anyways...
I took a little break for a while. Actually, I suppose it doesn't even qualify as a while in that I posted only a few days ago. I just need a little time to figure out what I wanted to do with myself, and I think I've decided on something I can be happy with.
You see, ever since my end-of-cilvilization-as-we-know-it revelation, I've found my life to be considerably LESS stresfull than before. I've decided to just drop all pretenses and be entirely myself. I've freed myself from the pressure of expectations, and I'm able to live how I always wanted.
As I type this, I can honestly say that I'm quite content. I get pleasure from the simplest things in life. For example, after I finish this post, I'm going to get changed and crawl into bed alone. That first moment when I pull up the covers on my comfortable bed and lay my head down on a couple of old pillows, I feel completely at ease. It's really the best part of my day. It's the most comforting part of my life really, knowing that no matter how bad of a day I've had, I can always come home and have that whole bed to myself at night.
Anyway... I'll start blogging again because chronicaling my life is part of who I am. The blog will probably have an entirely different tone now that I've made peace with myself. There won't be much more complaining. I probably won't talk about my job very often. I think I'll just write about the little things that I enjoy.
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4 comments:
Good for you! It is stressful to write a blog for other people. There are too many expectations to give people good "material" so to speak. Look at this like a journal for yourself and if other people want to comment they can. :)
its like you said before, you would be alot happier with yourself if people just didnt make you feel bad for being who you are....there is nothing more admirable than appreciating the little things in life
I'm so happy you are back!!! I think you've found out what most people take awhile to: that happiness needs to come within.
So glad you're back! Your new philosophy is the right one!
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