Am I too old to be hanging out with friends? There are so many pressures and expectations placed on a 26 year old person. I feel like I should be looking for a girl, looking to get married, looking to have kids, etc. However, I still enjoy going for hikes, playing wiffle ball, playing video games, playing cards, or shooting hoops with friends more than anything else.
At work, I have to be this ultra mature, super serious person. I have to be very responsible, and my demanor and performance has to demand the respect of my customers and coworkers. I spend so much time being serious and acting twice my age at work that all I want to do on my days off is goof around and act like a kid. It's funny because if you didn't know me and met me hanging out with my minimally employed friends, you'd think I was some near-30 loser making $10/hr at Walmart, instead of a highly skilled professional making 6-figures.
I'm 26 years old. I probably look closer to 30 with the way my hair is slowly turning grey. I have a well-paying, highly respected job. However, I feel no different than I did when I was 16.
Point in fact: I don't want to be any different than I was 16. I want to go out and shoot 500 jumpshots per day in an attempt to keep improving my shooting. I want to go play homerun derby. I want to shoot pool. I enjoy those things immensely. They make me happy. However those things which make me happy in the short term are keeping me from pursuing longterm happiness. After all, will I still be capable of playing basketball every day when I'm 35? Even so, will I have anyone to play with? Am I still going to be hanging out with the same friends at that age? Will I still be playing video games?
It sounds pathetic, and I suppose it is. I know I won't be doing those things when I'm older though. If I'm not doing that, then what will I do? I guess that's the real reason I want to eventually get married. I just don't want to be alone when I'm older. For me, it's not really about attraction, lust, or even love. It's about companionship.
So the question becomes: What age is too old to be acting like a kid? Am I already too old? Do I have a few more years left? Or, perhaps acting youthful is always a good thing as long as I can incorporate women into my life somehow. I clearly have not mastered this though.
Anyway... Thinking about the future makes me anxious for a number of reasons, so I'm off to occupy myself somehow.