A Day Late on the Update but Definitely Worth the Wait

I feel like a teenager when I talk about this stuff, but considering how low I've been the last few years, this is great to write about.

Where to start???

OK... First date. I met her at her place, and we ended up going out for dinner. She likes to eat out just as much as I do. A BIG plus! We had a pleasant dinner, and then stopped at a bar for drinks afterwards. We were out until almost 2 in the morning before returning to her apartment. She made hot chocolate for us, and we just kind of talked and joked around until 3 AM. I had to go home at that point. It was an hour drive back to my place, and I had to be at work at 8 in the morning. I left, but I couldn't get up the nerve to try to kiss her goodnight.

Sounds familiar, right?

I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep and somehow made it to work the next day. A couple hours in, she texted me asking how I was doing and if the drive home was ok the night before. That set us off basically text messaging back and forth all day again, which led to another LONG conversation online at night.

At the end of the conversation, we talked about possibly getting together again the next day (Sunday) to go out to a restaurant we had talked about during our first date. However, she said she wasn't sure if she'd be able to fit it into her schedule.

That planted the seeds of doubt in my head... again.

Maybe she didn't really like me that way. Maybe she only wanted to be friends. What happens if I tell her how I feel, and she doesn't feel the same way? Since she's friends with some of my friends, wouldn't that be awkward?

Thoughts raced around my head all day as I waited to hear whether she was going to meet me tonight or not. Finally, she texted me around 2 asking if I still wanted to go, and of course, I did. It seemed like a casual invitation though. I was actually starting to worry that she might decide to bring a friend with her or something.

After work, I had a mini freak out. I realized it was pretty much now or never. We couldn't keep going on the way we were. We had been staying up until the wee hours of the morning talking for like a week straight. I've never been so short on sleep in my life, and it must have been the same way for her. Either we were going to go somewhere, or it was just going to go away entirely.

So, I did what only Pharmacy Mike would do... I analyzed the shit out of the whole situation. My problem: I wasn't sure if she liked me or not. After putting all the facts together and thinking of things from her perspective, I came to the conclusion that she had to like me. She stayed up until 3 in the morning talking to me one night when she had to work the next day. We had a 3.5 hour phone conversation. Not only did we have our "coffee" date Friday, but she actually canceled what she had planned in order to make more time for me that night. Then, instead of coffee, it ended up being dinner, and instead of just saying goodbye to me when I got to my car, she invited me into her apartment. Even the whole date tonight required her to completely rearrange her schedule and go way out of her way to make time for me.

It became obvious that no sane person would do those things for "just a friend." I thought about how I approach my friends, and how I would never go that far out of my way just to hang out or talk to them. No one would. She had to like me.

In addition, what business did she have not liking me? I'm not the most confident person in the world, but I look at a lot of other guys with girlfriends and think that I'm a better catch than they are. I'm not bad looking. I'm lean and athletic. I'm smart. I have a job that pays me a 6-figure salary. I'm honest and sweet... and nice. Seriously, I'm like nice to the point of sickening sometimes. If she didn't think I was worthy to date, who the hell was she waiting for? I mean, she's cute, but she's not exactly a supermodel. George Clooney's not going to come and sweep her off her feet. I'm probably the best guy she could meet... if we're adding up checkpoints for positive attributes.

In any case... After all that thinking, I decided I would just go out, enjoy dinner with her, and then just tell her exactly how I felt afterwards as I was saying goodbye to her. And that's exactly what I did. It wasn't the smoothest delivery in the world. I kind of stopped and started and mumbled my way through it, but I got it out. Then I kissed her, and with that huge weight lifted from my shoulders, I was able to talk to her about how that was probably the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done in my life.

I'm seeing her again Saturday. Now, I can truly relax knowing she's in the same place I am.

Wow... that was a long time coming, huh? I feel like this is the culmination of everything I've been through over the past 3 years. Things can still go wrong from here. There's one more hurdle to jump over before I'm 100% in the clear. Right now though, I'm just happy... and relieved.... and proud of myself.

Thanks to all my readers for the advice.

Here's How It All Went

As I said, I got the date. I actually asked her out via text message. I didn't want to do it that way. It wasn't the plan, but it was the only opportunity, so I just went with the flow. I kind of smoothed it in there. We were joking about how I kept her up late talking the last few nights, and how coffee was the only thing keeping her awake at work. She joked that I owe her a cup of coffee, so when I texted her, I basically said let's go get that cup of coffee I owe you. She agreed.

I called her on the phone tonight to kind of figure out the details. We ended up talking for 3 and a half hours. We're going to meet up and go out around where she lives.

This is where I'll mention the one hiccup in this whole thing. She lives over an hour away from me. We both grew up in the same town, but she took a job an hour away. Last month, she moved to an apartment 5 minutes from her work.

She spends enough time back in our hometown where I'm sure the distance won't be that big of a problem. It might get a little annoying driving over an hour each way to see each other. I'm getting WAY ahead of myself here though. I still have to see how the night goes.

By the way... I have to work Saturday morning. I'm driving over an hour to meet up with her at 9:30 at night. I'm assuming that I'll be out to at least 1:00 AM. Then, I won't make it back here until after 2 in the morning, so that I can get up to get ready for work less than 5 hours later. It's going to be a tiring night. I might actually have to start drinking coffee to date this girl.

She must like me, right? All the late night chats, the 3.5 hour phone call tonight, agreeing to go out with me... She must be interested, right?

No matter how things end up turning out, I have to be at least a little happy with myself. I mean, these are big steps. It's probably your average Friday night for a lot of guys, but this is the first date I've been on in almost 2 years. In this situation, I actually took the initiative more than I ever had in the past. I met her in person. I reached out to talk to her after meeting her. After taking a little while to get to know her, I asked her out. I'd say I'm progressing in leaps and bounds compared to where I was just a year ago.

Last December, I wrote a year in review post in which I mentioned that I'd probably look back at 2008 as a major turning point in my life. I also wrote that I wasn't even sure if I was a relationship person at all. How things have changed... If 2008 was the turning point, 2009 was me taking off running after the turn.

Wish me good luck tomorrow night. You can expect an update Saturday night. LOL... My blog has a purpose again.

Update to Follow

It's early, and I have to get to work soon, so I don't have much time. I just wanted to update everyone. I got a tentative coffee date for this Friday. I say tentative because it won't necessarily be coffee. It just kind of fit into the conversation. However, I have a day and a time if not necessarily a particular activity. I'll clarify later.

Thanks to everyone who chimed in with advice. It seems weird to be getting dating advice from strangers on the internet. However, I think a lot of people get all kinds of advice before asking someone out. They just get it from their friends. Since I'm a little shy, and my friends aren't great for doling out dating advice, my blog seems to be a better place for me. Quite honestly, anyone who reads my blog regularly knows more about how my mind works than any of my friends. Ok... That might be a little sad.

By the way... I like how everyone kept saying, "My husband/boyfriend is a nerdy internet guy..." It's funny because I guess I am nerdy in many ways. On the other hand, I did score 20 points in my basketball game this week. I'd like to know how many pharmacy nerds can do that! haha

I Need Advice

I mentioned a couple posts ago that I have been talking to a really nice girl. I've now hung out with her on 3 separate occasions. They weren't dates. The last couple of times, she invited me to go out with her and a friend. We had fun both times.

I really like this girl... a lot. We talk often online. The last couple of nights we were up past 1:00 AM talking. I get along with her really well. She's a sweet girl, and we share a lot of interests.

Basically, I want to know what should be my next move? I'm starting to feel like if we keep talking like this without anything more coming out of it, she might get either annoyed or disinterested. I don't want that to happen. I want to ask her out on an actual date. I've been trying to work up the courage for the past 3 weeks. I just don't know how to do it. I don't want to come on too strongly, but at the same time, I know that I have to at least make some kind of move.

I'm not smooth. I'm not the most charming guy in the world. I don't know how to be all cool about things like this. However, I am good at being honest. I was thinking that the next time I talk to her, I should just lay it out there and see what happens. Something like this...

"I'm not smooth, so I don't really know a better way of asking. I just think you're a really nice girl, and I like talking to you a lot. I was hoping we could go out some time for dinner and maybe some drinks."

Something along those lines... It sounded better in my head than it came out on the screen. Some people have told me the best thing is to casually ask her if she'd like to join me going to something I was already supposed to be going to. For example, if I was planning on getting drinks on Saturday, ask if she wanted to come along. That's a good idea, except I don't have stuff like that going on unless someone asks me first. If I haven't hammered this home already, I don't have the most eventful life.

I'm not good at dealing with all this signal reading. I just think it always works best for me to be open and honest. Let her know that I like her. Let her know I'd like to go on a date with her. Just be sincere and honest.

So, I think that's going to be my game plan. The next question is when should I do it? I've spent several hours talking to her online the last couple of days. The day before that, we spent the day text messaging each other back and forth. We've never really talked on the phone, so it feels a little weird just calling her out of the blue to ask her.

Should I though? Would it be best to call her? Should I wait a couple days to give her a little space? We've done a lot of talking recently. I don't want to become annoying. Should I just wait until the next time I get a chance to talk to her online, or would it be better to act quickly?

I want opinions here... preferably female opinions. I'm at the point right now where I'll actually listen to advice from random strangers over the internet. I swear, if a number of people comment telling me to call her now, I'll call her within the next 5 minutes. I don't want to screw this up. I don't want this to be like all those other times when I do nothing and let the girl get away. I like this girl too much.

Advice would be greatly appreciated.

Electronic Prescriptions: Now We Can Clearly Read All the Errors

I might be the only pharmacist in the world saying this, but I don't care. I'm so sick of electronic scripts. I swear I spend more time calling doctors' offices clarifying electronic scripts than I ever did for written ones.

The problem with electronic scripts is that you actually have to know how to use the program in order to send them accurately. Now, I have no idea what the software interface looks like. I just know how they show up on my computer, and often, there's some sort of problem with them.

The most common problem is whoever is inputting the script (medical assistants, RNs, and seemingly rarely the physician) keeps selecting the wrong drug. I can only assume that the interface is similar to our pharmacy computers where you type in at least part of the name of the drug and then choose the correct one from a long list of options. The problem is that while pharmacy employees work with these drugs every single day and are well aware how they're named and supplied, doctors' representatives seem to not really know which is the correct drug to choose.

Here's an example...

Drug: Tussirex
Sig: Take 1 teaspoonful q 12h prn
quant: 4 ounces

I don't even know what Tussirex is. Upon looking it up in the PDR, it apparently existed at one time as some sort of cough medicine. I've never seen it, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist anymore. Of course, any pharmacist knows that it was supposed to be for Tussionex. However, I can't just assume that. I've seen physicians write for products that are no longer available plenty of times before. Therefore, and especially since Tussionex is a controlled substance, I had to call the office to verify it. As you could have guessed, by the time we got the script, the office was closed and was no longer accepting phone calls. When we finally contacted the office a day later, the nurse confirmed what I already knew; She had selected the wrong drug.

Problems like that are amazingly common. Wellbutrin is another one that drives me crazy. Whenever I see an electronic script for Wellbutrin, there's probably about a 50% chance it was inputted incorrectly. There are 3 different formulations of Wellbutrin. There's just plain old Wellbutrin, the 12 hour Wellbutrin SR, and the once daily Wellbutrin XL. It's not at all uncommon to see scripts that read just like this...

Drug: Wellbutrin SR 12 Hour 150 mg
Sig: Take 1 tablet once daily.
quant: 30

This drives me insane because there are so many things that could be wrong with that script that even after calling the office, it usually takes forever for me to get it resolved. Was it supposed to be for Wellbutrin SR? If so, are they really only taking it once a day? Shouldn't it be twice daily with a quantity of 60? Or did the doctor really mean Wellbutrin XL, and someone just selected the wrong Wellbutrin? AHHHHHH!!!!

Then there's the ones that come across with completely messed up directions...

Drug: Klonopin 0.5 mg
Sig: Take 1 po qd po 1 po HS (30 days)
Quant: 60

That's exactly how the script came across. My first thought was that the doctor meant for the patient to take it twice daily. That seemed to make sense. The quantity was for 60, and it said 30 days in the directions. It looked pretty obvious to me, but once again, it was a controlled substance, so I just wanted to double check. Of course, I couldn't get anyone at the office right away, so I had to leave a message. Five hours later the doctor called back to say that it was only supposed to be 1 tablet at bedtime, and he had no idea why the script got messed up like that.

A lot of pharmacists probably would have filled that as twice daily, and it would have been an error (albeit not really the pharmacist's fault) because it wasn't what the doctor intended. That leads me to wonder just how many scripts are filled incorrectly due to someone in the office choosing the wrong drug or inputting the wrong directions? I'm guessing more than a few.

I think that electronic scripts were aimed at solving one prescribing problem: Bad handwriting. However in doing so, they opened up the potential to make plenty of other mistakes. In reality, bad handwriting was never the biggest source of prescription errors. The biggest problem causing incorrectly written (or filled) prescriptions is not double checking them before they go out the door. Prescribers (or whoever is actually writing the scripts, which I know often times is just the medical assistant, and the doctor just scribbles his signature on it) just quickly write out a script without ever giving it a second look. Therefore, careless mistakes are made. Usually the handwriting is at least good enough for pharmacists to figure out. I really don't call offices that much to clarify poor handwriting. Most of my calls for clarification involve the actual content of the prescription. Wrong drug, wrong dosage, wrong directions, wrong or missing quantity, etc. Without making double checking mandatory, these errors will continue to happen whether the scripts be hand written or electronically sent.

What I don't understand is why there's no emphasis on double checking the script before it ever leaves the office. Pharmacists double and triple check every single prescription before it leaves the pharmacy. If I'm the only person working, I will type the script myself. Then once the label prints, I will check what I typed against the hard copy. Then, I will grab the drug from the shelf and check the NDC on the bottle vs. the NDC on the label. Then I'll count it out. If it's a control, I'll double count it. Then, I'll check the name on the bottle vs. the name on the pharmacy receipt that gets stapled to the bag. Finally, I'll verify the patient's address before giving the prescription to them.

Notice that there's a half dozen checks in there for each script I fill. However, prescribers don't seem to even do a single double check. I know decreasing insurance reimbursements have them strapped for time while trying to fit as many patients in as possible. However, I can't imagine that it would take more than 5 seconds to check a prescription one just wrote for accuracy.

There's no excuse for the number of mistakes I see. Absolutely none at all, and since electronic scripts, at least from my observations, aren't doing anything to cut down on these mistakes, what's the point?

What's this??? I'm Actually Happy.

I guess it was a gradual (some would say it was at a glacial pace) process, but the realization hit me suddenly within the last couple of weeks. "Holy crap! I'm not miserable anymore. I'm actually happy." Not only am I happy, but I'm optimistic. I'm actually looking at the positive side of things instead of constantly dwelling on the negative.

It wasn't a magical transformation. It took a lot of hard work on my part. I didn't set out with happiness in mind. I wanted to take things one step at a time and see where I ended up. The first thing on my agenda was getting healthy and physically fit. I cleaned up my diet. I greatly cut back on most processed foods and anything with added sugar. Then, as I've stated several times in this blog, I started an exercise routine, and I've been pretty consistent. It's been almost 3 months since I started, and I feel more fit than I have in a very long time.

Being healthy and in-shape is a wonderful thing because it not only affects your body but also your mind. It's been pretty well documented that lack of physical activity can lead to depression. There was even a study that came out recently saying that processed foods (i.e. non-whole wheat carbs, and foods with added sugar) were linked to depression. It's become abundantly clear to me that we really are what we eat. If you have a poor diet, you're going to feel like crap mentally and physically.

Becoming healthier changed my entire mood. I just felt better overall. I felt more confident and less miserable. I had more energy, and therefore, I had more desire to go out and do things. I started hanging out with friends more often. I branched out and met some new people. Again, there was no particular goal in mind. I just decided that I no longer wanted to watch life pass me by.

My more active social life ended up expanding my circle of friends. I mentioned a couple months ago how I was dying to go on a vacation. Well, along with one long time friend and a couple other relatively new friends, I booked a vacation in February. It's only a 5 day trip, but I'm very excited for the chance to travel with a bunch of friends to a place I've never been.

I've also been talking to this sweet girl that I met not too long ago. We've hung out several times and talked on several other occasions. She's a very nice person, and I think I just might like her. We'll see how things unfold, but for now I'm just happy that things seem to be falling into place for me for once.

There's that saying "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." That was me for all these years. I wrote about my miserable life. I lamented on how I was alone, single, and seemingly going nowhere. I wished things would change. However, I didn't do anything about it. I just sat around hoping for some sort of miracle to fall into my lap and fix all my problems.

Finally, I realized that I had to do something or else I would be doomed to misery for the rest of my life. I didn't have any idea how I wanted things to play out, but I knew that the first changes had to be in myself. Without making those changes, none of this other progress could have occurred.

I move forward from this point without any regrets. I'm happy, hopeful, and looking forward to whatever the future may bring.

Hand Sanitizer

There are no studies to back me up. Despite this, I'm convinced that the use of hand sanitizer in a non-institutional setting causes people to get sick more frequently. In institutional settings (i.e. hospitals or long term care facilities), studies have definitively shown that the use of hand sanitizer dramatically reduces the risk of spreading infections from patient to patient. However, to my knowledge, the use of hand sanitizer has never been studied in the general public. Just like we have different guidelines for treating community vs. hospital acquired pneumonia, I believe the use of hand sanitizer works differently in the community than in a hospital.

In hospitals, most of the patients are already immunocompromised. They're sick. They have open wounds, catheters, tubes, and other entry points into the body that aren't in your average person walking the streets. Hospital workers must frequently wash and/or sanitize their hands in order to prevent resistant bugs from being spread patient to patient.

In the community, people are relatively healthy. They generally aren't immunocompromised in the ways that hospital patients are. In addition, a healthy person is covered from head to toe in bacteria. Lots and lots of bacteria. However, this is not a bad thing. The normal flora covering your skin and mucosal linings help keep you healthy. The presence of this normal bacteria prevent more dangerous bacteria from adhering and forming growing colonies.

I postulate that hand sanitizer in a community setting is bad for you because it does exactly what it claims to do. It kills 99.9% of bacteria on contact. The only problem is that it doesn't discriminate between bad and good bacteria. It just kills 99.9% of everything on your skin. Therefore, upon eliminating the normal flora on your skin, bad bacteria are better able to latch on and replicate unimpeded.

People seem to have this idea that we should live in a sterile environment. They spend an inordinate amount of time cleaning and sanitizing themselves and every surface they might ever touch. It's next to impossible to convince these people that they actually have an immune system, and it does fight off germs if you let it. However, when you kill off your normal flora with sanitizers, you're weakening one of your body's primary defenses against infections.

I just wish someone would do a study on this. I'm almost positive that it would show people who use hand sanitizer regularly get sick more often than people who don't.