Sunday, June 1, 2008

I was misunderstood

In my previous post, I wasn't saying that I don't think I should be acting youthful anymore. I was stating that on my current path, I'll be shooting hoops and screwing around until I'm 40 and suddenly realize that I'm old and still single.

I think this isn't only a problem with me, but it's becoming an increasing problem (if you could call it a problem) in society. Fifty years ago, a 26-year old would have been expected to be married with kids. Today, 26 doesn't even necessarily mean you've moved out of your parents' house yet. To illustrate this, I still don't really consider myself an adult yet. I still think of myself as some kid who just happens to have a grown-up's job.

It's this illusion of having so much time left that scares me. I'm almost 30! Yes, it's OK to play basketball and do all those other fun things, but at the same time, you have to realize that right now, I do those things at the expense of a social life. Shooting 500 jumpshots per day is great for my jumpshooting ability, but it's not getting me any women. I try to think that something will come along when I least expect it, so I should just go about my life without worrying about it. However, what happens if someone doesn't come along?

There's that saying: "Chance favors the prepared mind." Well, I think this situation is a good example of that. Yes, someone might enter my life or someone I already know may take on a larger role than I ever expected, but I have to at least put myself in a situation where those chances improve. Shooting hoops and playing cards with the same 4 guys several times per week is not helping me.

That's my point though. Those things are really fun now, but that's not exactly what I want to be doing 10 years from now. It's not where I envision myself, but if I keep going about my life as I have been, I probably won't get to where I want to be. And that would be a shame because I'm much more than those loser guys that are 40 years old, single, and do nothing but play video games and watch Star Trek reruns all day. I have so much to offer mentally and emotionally that it would be a shame if I wind up alone.

By the way... These last couple of posts are meant to have more of a thoughtful mood than a depressing one. I'm quite content at the moment and, for the most part, less anxious than I have been in a long time.

One more thing: I apologize for the lack of pharmacy-related posts, but I simply do not feel the need to write about my job right now. I don't get upset or frustrated with customers that much anymore. I'm just happy and grateful to have my current job, and I'm hoping that I'll have this job for a long time. Even if every customer yelled and screamed at me all day long, I'd be happy to go in every day. A lot of unemployed and minimally paid people would kill for the opportunity to endure our crazy customers and make 6-figures doing so.


susan said...

My friend told me once that American adolescence ends at 30...because people for lack of a better term, waste away their 20s. (I don't think it's wasting away..but those were the words my friend used.) There is definitely a societal shift where that people are getting married later. I read a statistic recently that 40% of people are married by 25...whereas, just 20 years ago it was like 70%. I think there are lots of factors at play: overprotective baby boomer not wanting their kids to grow up, graduates being in a crap load of financial loan debt and therefore having to move back in with their parents, etc. But I also think people are realizing that marriage isn't necessarily the sole path in life anymore...there's so much to do like traveling and just finding yourself...There are more options now, especially for women. You can choose to get married or not..... While I do think there is huge societal pressure to get married (especially from nagging family members asking if you're seeing someone)...I do think society as a whole is becoming more accepting of singles.
And by the way, married people are actually the minority in the U.S..make up 49% of households. So there definitely is a demographic shift.

Keef's Gurl said...

Mikey, what kind of woman are you looking for...what kind of woman do you want? Do you want someone to piss and moan about you wanting to watch basketball and spend all morning shooting hoops, or do you want a super-cool chick who will join you for a one-on-one free throw contest?

Never, ever, ever tailor yourself to fit a woman's perspective. Ever. It's a recipe for disaster and will only make you miserable.

I know that you think that 30 is old, but it's not....ask my fiancee. We just got engaged...he's a 31 year old, game playing, comic book reading, hoop shooting geek and I wouldn't change him for the world.

Screw societal expectations. Be who you are.

Pharmacy Mike said...

You misunderstand...

My social circle contains pretty much no women outside of work. My usual routine of fun doesn't allow me to meet women. Therefore, it doesn't matter what kind of woman I'm looking for, I have much much less of a chance finding one going about life as I have been.

Moreover, I don't really care if a girl can play sports or not, or if she does the same things as I do. I only care that she allows me some time to do them. Relationships are about compromise. As long as she's accepting of who I am, that's all I care about.

Besides... She'd have to be one amazing freethrow shooter to challenge me in a freethrow contest (I'm a 90% freethrow shooter).

Anonymous said...

Maybe I'm also misunderstanding you because of the thought-to-blog transfer, but it doesn't really sound to me like you want a relationship, just a girlfriend..
you don't really mind what she's like or what she's interested in as long as she's interested in you and keeps you company when you want, and then leaves you alone to do your hobbies when you want. What you do for fun now doesn't cross your path with women, or at least women that you're interested in. And at the same time you like how you live now and don't seem to want to do other stuff (which is fine).
I've known and hung out with guys, and seen girlfriends go out with guys who seem to have similar criteria, and they largely treated their girlfriends like sh!t, because they're not in it for what they can give but what they can receive and then be left alone.

Pharmacy Mike said...

I was in a 6-year relationship before. I know what it takes to make a serious relationship work. Yes, in the end, it didn't last. However, 6 years together is no small feat.

Like I said, relationships are about compromise. It's not necessarily about two people who love all of the same things. It's about two people that like each other's personalities, morals, ideals, and beliefs. My ex knew nothing about sports and was the least athletic person in the world. However, she (generally, but not always) was supportive of my desire to play basketball and watch my favorite teams on TV. She's even watch with me sometimes.

Vice versa... She had a lot of interests that I initially knew nothing about, but because they were important to her, I always made an attempt to be interested too.

I liked her for who SHE was, and not because she liked to do things I liked. I admired her differences. I didn't want her to just leave me alone. We were together constantly (practically inseperable) for most of the time we were together. As long as she liked and respected me for me, and I did the same for her, we were fine.

That's what I'm looking for in a girlfriend. I don't care if she's interested in a single thing that I am. As long as she has an open mind, is great to talk to, sweet, caring, and dependable, I'm fine with whatever she's interested in.

I guess what it comes down to is that I want a girlfriend, not a buddy. I always look for something deeper and more meaningful than shared interests. I want someone I can connect with on a whole different level. If I wanted someone to shoot hoops or play video games with me, I'll just call up one of my friends.

PharmJam said...

Just make sure you do not get in a rut. Just because many people would love to have your job has nothing to do with whether you should be satisfied with the quality/satisfaction you get from your job.
Good Luck with finding what you are looking for.

Anonymous said...

thats one way of looking at things but have another look. I am your age. I dont know how old your grandfathers are but mine are still alive in the mid 80s so I can anticipate with 99% accuracy that I will be alive for about 60 more years. When you look at things this way you want to naturally take your time through life. Even if you get married in your late 30s so what?

Anonymous said...

heres a thought - go back to school in an area that you might be interested in like art or english or philosophy, girls are rampant in these liberal arts majors.

Anonymous said...

Hello. I'm in love with you. Please get out of your apartment and find me.

Anonymous said...

Another thought, in all those romance novels the hero is in late 30's early 40's and the heroine is 20-something (or younger).

It doesn't really matter about other things when considering one's own lot in life, if there's love and laughter and sharing and caring.

Don't obsess over being 'something-less', think more positively as taking advantage of this time for reaffirming personal beliefs, development of hobbies and interests, growing a nest egg, traveling, volunteering, etc. Being single is an acceptable lifestyle option! (Speaking as one with 35 yrs marriage commitment so far.)

Am sorry that one feels 'so many pressures and expectations placed on one so young', however, stay away from the nutcases or nutjobs if cave into pressures!