Sunday, September 14, 2008

Searching for Things to Write About

This blog was really easy to write for the first year. I had a lifetime worth of pent up emotions and frustrations that I needed to get out. In addition, I was just going through a very busy and stressful time at work, so I had plenty of pharmacy things to write about. Lately, I just don't have much to say.

Here's the problem: I tend to write from extreme emotions. If I'm pissed off at something, I can write 10 pages without breaking a sweat. If I'm feeling depressed, the words just flow from me. It's the same thing when I'm really happy about something (as I was over the possibilities that eHarmony Girl presented). Right now, I'm kind of middle of the road. I'm not feeling down at all, but I'm really not soaring with happiness. I guess my life is just kind of in this holding pattern now where I'm waiting for the next big thing to come up.

I'm finding it especially hard to write about pharmacy because work has been pretty great lately. Two years ago, we were really the only pharmacy in town, so EVERYONE came to us. We were crazy busy (for the kind of store we are), and our help (technicians and clerks specifically) was terrible. Within the last year, 2 major competitors opened up within a half mile from us, and our script volume has dropped roughly 20%. Amazingly, our department hours haven't been cut yet, so it's been pretty stress free. Two years ago, we were busy every second of the day. We never had time to take a break. Now, we often stand around looking at each other trying to figure out what to do. Of course, the company isn't pleased with all the business we lost, but it sure has made my job a lot better. Plus, when they inevitably do cut our hours, I have seniority in the store (thanks to a major staff overhaul over a year ago in which I was the only pharmacist who stayed at the store). I don't have to worry about being transferred or having to pick up hours elsewhere. I'm in a really good position.

Long time readers (those readers who followed me before I jumped off the deep end and then came back with few things to write about), will remember I used to write about Betty (AKA the Horrible Pharmacist). Well, she's still in my store, and she's still up to her same old antics. However, the decreased work load makes it a lot easier to put up with her. Additionally, since I made it a point not to write so specifically about the people I work with anymore, even if she really pisses me off, I can't write about it.

As for my personal life... I've opened up a bit and made some new friends, which I'm pretty happy about. However, I ended up getting involved in a little bit of drama because of it, but it's really not something worse discussing. I've finally made it to the point where I'm not bothered at all by what my ex does or doesn't do with her life. In fact, she doesn't even live in the same state as me anymore. She moved in with her boyfriend who she's been dating for nearly 2 years. Her boyfriend IS that dumbass that I thought it was. This bothered me at first, but not anymore. She sent me this long email out of the blue last week, which explained, in detail, everything that happened to her and all she'd been through since we broke up. There was a lot I didn't know, which shocked me a bit. She also described how her new boyfriend treats her, and he doesn't seem like such a bad guy after all. Therefore, I don't really have a problem with any of that. I FINALLY got closure after 2.5 years.

Sooooo.... Work is good. My personal life is OK, even if it's still pretty boring. I really don't have much to do on my days off. This is the last day of a 4 day weekend for me, and I didn't really do anything except to go to some terrible party for a few hours on Saturday night. Therefore, I still complain about being bored, but at least I'm not sitting around all day lamenting on the past anymore... It actually feels odd to say that because I've spent so much of the last 2.5 years lamenting on the past. I'm finally ready to move forward. I just wish I had come to this state sooner, so I didn't waste all that time. Oh well... Can't change that now.

There's not really much of a point to this post. I guess I'm just explaining why I'm not writing much anymore, and why, when I do write, the tone is different than before.


Anonymous said...

Honey, if you're waiting for closure that long, it's not closure you want. It's the ability to date her again. You don't miss someone that long, thinking about them that often for closure. Goodluck actually moving on to the point where you don't need to talk about her anymore. :)

Pharmacy Mike said...

I'm 100% over her right now. I have no desire to date her or even to talk about her anymore. That's as much closure as I could ever want.