Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Why do I blog?

I got to thinking why I actually bother to write this blog, and I realized that I have no idea. Many people do this as a release, as a way to vent off the frustrations of the day. This isn't a release to me because I still hold back a lot of the things I'd really like to say. I originally thought that this blog would be a place for me to share funny stories like other pharmacists. The problem is that while I have a lot of funny stories to tell, I don't tell them in a funny way.

So why do I continue posting these unimportant, uninteresting dribbles? I honestly don't know. Quite frankly, the more people that read this, the more uneasy I get about it.... and I've barely revealed anything about myself in my writing.

Do you know that I write, erase, then rewrite my posts over and over again before finally settling on something that is just blah enough to not really offend anyone? The reason: I'm offended by my own thoughts sometimes. I write something, then can't believe that's how I really feel, so I rewrite it, but I'm not really happy about that version either, so I write it again.

Just now, I wrote a whole paragraph and erased it because I didn't like what I was saying. This begs the question... If I can't even be honest in an anonymous blog, how can I ever be honest in any part of my life?

And I just erased another paragraph. This is getting me nowhere. In any case, I'm not sure how much longer I can keep this blog up.


greensunflower said...

It took me about a year to figure out what I wanted to blog about. If you look at my early entries they are far different than they are now. Blog is an evolution much like life. Fuck whoever reads it, write it for yourself. Sometimes you might find that people have many of the same thoughts. We are all human and connected by that, culture, race, and ethnicity be damned.

And opening yourself up and finding that 99% of people empathize, care, or agree, is liberating. That 1% will kill you at first, but get past them, they are idiots.

pepperpourri said...

Haha, so I'm not the only one who does that. I don't feel comfortable saying too much about myself too, so basically the things that I actually post have been carefully thought over.

Sometimes it's the spur of the moment that makes you want to write something, like anger. It happened to me once, but then I realised the person I was talking about could be reading my blog, because someone else responded to it. In the end, I deleted the entry after posting it for a few days.

Anyway, hope you will continue blogging!

pepperpourri said...

Oh yeah, by the way, good news! lol. I saw your comments, 2 of them, just 5 minutes ago. They showed up in spam. You left those comments quite a long time ago though. I don't know why they appeared so late.

Anyway, yours came together with real spam, people trying to earn money or something.