I know, I know... You're all saying, "which one?" Yes, I have quite a few character flaws. However, this one recently came up, so that's what I'm going to write about.
Quite some time ago, I was talking to someone, and she commented that I liked to be right all the time. I responded, "doesn't everybody? Who wants to be wrong?"
She didn't even hesitate when she said, "But I feel like you just NEED to be right." I thought about it for a little bit, and realized that she was 100% correct. I have this overwhelming desire to be right about everything.
Now, that doesn't mean that I'm someone who thinks he's always right. There is a subtle but important difference between thinking you're always right and constantly wanting to be right. People who think they're always right don't listen or take into consideration what other people say. All they know is that they're right, everyone else is wrong, and they don't want to hear anything else.
I don't think I'm always right, and I certainly don't always think everyone else is wrong. However, I have this incredible desire to be right. Actually, it might be more appropriate to say that I have this need to know what is right. For example, if I'm talking to someone about a drug, and the other person thinks a drug works by one mechanism of action, while I think it has a different mechanism, I will stop whatever I'm doing to look up the answer and find out for sure whether I'm right or wrong.
I hate being wrong. In fact, I hate being wrong so much that I will pretty much never talk about a subject in which I'm not well versed. I will sit quietly for hours listening to other people talk until the conversation turns to a subject that I know well. Only then will I contribute.
However, if I do say something, and you happen to disagree with me, you better have a good argument or evidence to support your claim. I like to argue, and I will defend my position with every bit of logic and evidence I can come up with. Note, that I do not dismiss other people's thoughts or opinions, but I will make people defend them. If you make a comment or observation about something around me, I will question it, especially if it's something I don't agree with. If you choose not to defend your opinion or fail to come up with a logical or fact based argument in favor of it, I will dismiss it. However, if you push back at me as much as I push you to defend your opinion, I'll more than give you the proper credit. Moreover, I'll probably incorporate your thoughts into my own beliefs.
I don't really consider myself a strong person, but I believe I hold strong opinions about things. I also believe that most of the time, when I choose to say something, I'm usually right. Some people have told me that I can come across as arrogant and lacking modesty. A coworker once told me that it's like I know that I'm smarter than everyone else there, and I do nothing to make people think otherwise.
I can see how his would be annoying to people. However, I don't believe I'm arrogant at all. I'm also one of the most modest people you'll ever meet. I deflect flattery of any kind like it's a deadly disease. I shy away from praise. You can't say anything remotely nice about me without my face turning bright red in embarrassment. However, there's no such thing as modesty when it comes to being right or wrong. If someone says something that I know to be in error, I will correct it. I'm not going to just sit back and let people spread false information and uninformed opinions, especially on things that really matter.
Somewhere in all this rambling is an actual point. I'm not even sure I know what it is anymore. I guess what I'm basically trying to say is that a have a personality flaw where I feel like I always need to be right, and if I feel strongly enough about what I'm talking about (whether it be a clear-cut fact or a well thought out opinion), I will defend it. Therefore, in order to get along well with me, you have to be strong in your opinions and not afraid to argue with me to defend yourself.
In fact, when I was using eHarmony, I listed that as the most important characteristic for a girl to have. I tend to find myself attracted to girls who challenge what I say and aren't afraid to tell me when I'm being stupid (which is quite often). I'm one of the only people on this earth that doesn't want to be drowned in flattery. I don't want a girl that tells me how great I am. I want someone that can point out all my little flaws because then I know that she's really paying attention to me. Moreover, only through realizing my deficiencies will I be able to improve upon myself. Anyone who can make me realize something about myself that I don't already know is someone worthy of my admiration.
I have no idea how I ended up talking about what I desire in a woman. This post is a shining example of how stupid I can be.