From time to time, I'm going to reveal a little about myself. My original intention was to make this strictly a pharmacy blog, but that's not who I am. I'm a thinker. I think about all sorts of stuff all the time. In fact, I probably think way too much. It often interferes with my personal life and relationships. Anyway... What I'm getting at is that every once in a while, I can't help but write about some of the things that are on my mind.
Alright.... In my last post I mentioned how I had a really good weekend at work. I was feeling pretty good about myself until I found out that a whole bunch of my friends had gotten together and went out on Saturday night. I couldn't go. I had to work.
You might ask yourself why I would be so upset. Well, the truth is that I haven't had many opportunities to go out since I became a pharmacist. It seems like all the weekends I'm off, nobody wants to do anything. If we do go somewhere, it just ends up being me and a couple other of my friends going out to the local bar and having a couple beers. Not that I have a problem with that. It's just that I prefer, as a single guy, to have some females around. It's not that I'm looking for someone to hook up with. I just like when girls are around. It breaks things up. It opens up different conversation beside the usual guy stuff (sports, reliving college, sports, etc.). Besides, girls look good, smell good, and give me a reason to try to impress someone. I'm not really shy, but I would say that I'm not bold enough to walk up to a girl I've never met and start talking to her. Therefore, in order to spend a nice evening with some females, there would have to be girls one of us already knows there.
That's why when I found out I missed an opportunity to hang out with a big group of people (including some cute and single girls), the realization of how lonely my job makes me hit me again. Whether it be right or wrong, I blame this on my ex. We were together all through college, and during that time, we were attached at the hip. She didn't like me going out with my friends. She didn't like me being in places where I could meet new people. Anything we did, we did with just the 2 of us. We didn't really have mutual friends. Our whole lives were each other. When she broke up with me, she just started law school, so she was in a place where she could meet tons of new people, go to a bunch of parties, go out to the downtown bars, etc. I, on the otherhand, had just started working 40 hours per week in a tiny pharmacy. There's not many opportunities to meet new people in a pharmacy.
Since, I didn't make any new friends in college, and being with her prevented me from socializing with most of my old friends, I now am in a situation where I only have about 3 friends I can call up to go out. One of those friends is in a committed relationship with his girlfriend, and he's basically never available to do anything. Another friend is not really the type you go out with to meet girls. That leaves my one other friend who is coming off of a really hard breakup (he was engaged to a girl who decided less than a year before the wedding that she didn't want to get married any more). This friend is a good guy, but his conversation abilities are limited to sports and Seinfeld. Besides, what fun is it for just 2 guys to go out to a bar or anywhere else???
I actually signed up for eHarmony for a couple months. I went out on a couple dates, but the whole internet dating thing really isn't for me. I went out with one girl who wasn't bad looking (though certainly not a head turner by any stretch of the imagination). Looks aren't really all that important to me in a girl. I mean, I need to find her attractive in some way, but they don't need to be uber hot. A girl's personality is much more important to me, and I can usually tell if we'd be a good fit within the first 10 minutes. The girl I went out with a couple times was alright. We matched their "29 dimension compatibility profile." That match was good on paper, but we just weren't a fit in real life. The real killer (and this sounds very much like something out of Seinfeld) is that she woudn't eat anything with tomatoes. That includes ketchup, tomato sauce, spanish rice that has diced tomatos in it, and really anything that even had contact with a tomato. I'm Italian. I live on tomatoes. I honestly can't picture myself being with someone that can't enjoy a good pizza. I don't think I can live the rest of my life without Italian food.
Before I canceled my eHarmony subscription, someone else contacted me, and we've been emailing back and forth for a couple months now. We still haven't met (she's in graduate school and very busy), but I'm cautiously optomistic about it. She seems like more of a match for me than the other one (and she's quite attractive too). I guess we'll have to see.
In the meantime, I actually look forward to going to work in that stressful pharmacy because at least when I'm there, I'm around other people. On my days off, I sit around and do nothing because quite frankly, there's nothing for me to do. I feel like I have a lot of friends at the pharmacy who I can talk and joke around with. I'm only a year or two older than our interns, and I'm within a couple years of age of most of our techs, so work kind of feels like a place to socialize for me. The only thing is that I think everyone there kind of realizes I have nothing better to do but be at work because I usually stop by once a week on a day off (I live less than 5 minutes away), I come in early, and I stay late often. It makes me feel a little pathetic... and I guess I am a little pathetic.
In any case... I have a few other things on my mind, but I've rambled on long enough. I have another day off tomorrow, which means some more sitting around doing nothing but eating junk food and playing Ninja Gaiden Sigma (awesome game by the way) on my Playstation 3. Maybe I'll go see the Simpsons movie... alone of course. Oh well... I guess I can sit around and count all the money I've saved by not spending it on a girlfriend or going out with friends.