Friday, March 6, 2009

You Coffee Drinkers Are Crazy

I don't drink coffee. I have never drank coffee. I don't have anything against it really. I just don't like the taste. Moreover, I try to limit my intake of caffeine, so I don't drink it.

I must say though, you coffee drinkers are hilarious to us non-coffee drinkers. Everyone else at work drinks coffee. We used to have this great little coffee shop right across the street from the store. They used to stop there before work to get coffee. If we were slow, they'd send someone there for an afternoon coffee run. People coming in for an evening shift would call the pharmacy to take coffee orders and pick it up on the way in.

About a month ago, that little coffee shop closed down. This created a crisis situation in the pharmacy that is seemingly on the same level as our current national economic downturn. All day long it was, "Where are we going to get coffee now?," and "I'm going to have to start getting up earlier in the morning to make coffee before I come in," and "Where is the next closest coffee shop?"

Finally, the coffee problem grew to such epic proportions that they went out and bought an $150 coffee maker for the pharmacy. Did that end the coffee discussion? NOOOO! All new issues popped up.

"The coffee isn't as good as that shop's."

"It's too watery."

"It's too strong."

"I can't figure out how to use the machine."

"It takes too long to make it."

After a month of trial and error, they finally found a blend they like and the proper way to prepare it. Then the conversation turned to "Who wants coffee?" and "When is a good time to make coffee?" It still takes a little bit of time to make the coffee, even with the machine, so sometimes people don't get their afternoon cup. You've never seen more cranky people than my coworkers when they miss a cup of coffee. In fact, all they talk about is how cranky they are because they couldn't have their coffee.

Occasionally, a customer will walk by and ask us what happened to the coffee shop across the street. This causes one of our technicians to wax poetic about how much she loved their coffee and how we all dearly miss them.

All day long, all I hear is coffee, coffee, coffee. It's just a little annoying. It's like we have a bunch of drug addicts in the pharmacy, and the drug is coffee. It really is an addiction. Their desperate search for coffee is like drug seeking behavior. When they don't get their coffee, they go through withdrawal symptoms. It's crazy.

Anyway... I just figured I'd tell all you coffee drinkers how silly you look.


Anonymous said...

There are many people in my class who buy 2-3 coffees a day at the library coffee shop at like 2-4 dollars a coffee, depending on what they get. In a given school week they are spending around 50 dollars on coffee. Who knows how much they spend on top of that after school and on the weekends. You hear the same people complain about money yet they drop couple hundred bucks on coffee a month.
Craziness I tell you.

Anonymous said...

Occasional attempts to wean off based on hearings of varied reports of positive or negative effects (less chance of Alzheimer's, or greater chance of ulcers, or birth defects, etc.), never mind the expense are met with short-term success. The hospital cafeteria sometimes has decaf and blending it with the real stuff, isn't really too much difference to notice, but when if there's been no joe by 10:30 AM, or on a green tea jag, I have tell myself (after forgetting something stupid), I'm overdue for a cuppa, or at least a piece of chocolate.

What really used to be annoying (when worked somewhere else) was day shifters coming in after a long solo night shift; they'd clock in, and immediately head to the cafeteria for breakfast...annoying from the night shift point of view.. both for the breakfast they didn't bring back to share but they crowed about--bacon strips, cinnamon buns, biscuits and gravy, and also the annoyance that nights didn't get to clock out on time as we were too busy manning the phones and coming up with new problems, plus not able to finish loose ends leftover from days. So, the froufrou about some food item that the cafeteria didn't have actually seemed nonsensical from some aspect.

pharmacy chick said...

This is one hilarious post. I too do not do coffee, but I do Coke. My staff does coffee and finally got a coffee maker after emptying their wallets too many times for S-bucks designer coffee. They too found a blend they liked, and everybody who drinks contributes to the coffee, supplies and maintenance of said machine

Anonymous said...

Talk about stem cell research

Anonymous said...

When I accepted a 7 on / 7 off night shift, I chose to abort my well-cultivated caffeine habit in an effort to better manage my sleep. 14 years later, I have no regret. My sleep is significantly improved and I never get that "bottomed-out" feeling that begs for a nap or another cup of coffee. In fact, even the miniscule amount of caffeine in decaf is sufficient to stimulate me and I now avoid it.

RPhgirl said...

Lol, that was a funny post. I tend to fall into a coffee drinkers category, but I am not over obsessing about it like some people do. Back when I was in retail, one of the factors that attracted me to certain pharmaciies was that they carried a coffee machine. I guess coffee drinkers do resemble drug addits in some ways,

Anonymous said...

Poll: Which question is most often overheard at your pharmacy?

1. Is that one really a waiter?

2. Are you going to Starbucks?

-New Pharm.D.

The Ole' Apothecary said...

Starbucks opened for business because, prior to its arrival, most of the Nation's coffee tasted like a horse's instep. Yeccch!

t3 said...

I have consumed so much coffee during my re-visited undergrad that it no longer effects me.

I drink it purely for ritual.