A Moron and Fake Tits

Customer came to the pharmacy counter today. To protect the names of the "innocent," we'll say her name was Paris Hilton.

Paris: I'd like to pick up a prescription for Hilton.

Tech: (checks bin) There's nothing in the bin for you. (Checks computer) We haven't filled a prescription for you in over a month.

Paris: I called to have it refilled a a couple weeks ago.

Tech: We probably put the medication back to stock. Any prescriptions not picked up in 14 days get credited and returned to stock. What were you looking to pick up?

Paris: I have no idea.

Tech: You don't remember what you were picking up.

Paris: No, but you returned it to stock.

Tech: I know, but how can I fill the prescription for you again if you have no idea what you're here to pick up? (said as politely as could be)

Paris: You don't have to be so rude about it. You put the prescription back to stock. Just fill it again!

The technician in an attempt to avoid lashing out at the moron at the counter came to me for guidance. After several minutes of questions, we figured out it was her acne medication that she wanted to fill again.

I filled the prescription quickly, and since the tech didn't want anything to do with her, I rang her up for it.

Paris: (to me) Did you hear what that girl said to me?.....

Fortunately for her, she never went any further. I was almost hoping she said something to me because I would love to tell her that only a MORON would come to the pharmacy over 2 weeks after asking to have a prescription filled and have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what she was looking to pick up. Seriously, what the fuck? It was your prescription!! You knew it was here or else you would have never came to pick it up. You obviously realized you needed the medication that had been sitting in our bins for 2 weeks. If you knew you needed it, how on earth could you not know what you were picking up?

Stupidity has no bounds.

Later in the day, 30 minutes after I was supposed to leave, an attractive woman with HUGE fake tits walked up to the pharmacy with a few questions for me regarding a rash that developed on her tubby son.

First, let me say that this woman looked really good to have a teenage kid.

Secondly, let me set the record straight that I hate fake tits. I hate the way they look, and though I've never felt them, just looking at them gives me everything I need to know that they don't feel to great either. There's just something wrong about them. Even the best boob job looks terribly unnatural. It's almost like (and it basically is) the woman has these 2 obtrussive mounds set on her chest. Real breasts have a natural curve from neckline to bust. Fake tits are like neckline, neckline, neckline, BIG BUMP. I'd rather a girl be small breasted than her to get a boob job.

With that said... It's really really hard to avoid staring at a very attractive woman's large breasts, even if they are fake. Additionally, this woman (as often woman with implants do) was doing everything she could to showcase her augmentations. She was wearing a skimpy tank top that came down to just above her belly button and skin tight pants. She looked basically like she just came from the gym.

Here I am, out in the OTC aisle trying like hell to maintain eye contact with this super hot, huge fake-breasted woman. She's explaining to me that her son's rash is on the skin that is underneath the flabby fat rolls where his stomach meets his waste. She's explaining this to me by exposing even more of her stomach and showing on her body the exact location of the rash would be.

I'm proud to say that I handled myself completely professionally. A lesser man would have snuck a peak at her ample fake cleavage. Just remember that this is another reason why it's good to have me as your pharmacist.... If you're a hot woman, you can ask me questions without worrying about me staring at your rack or your ass.